Friday, February 8, 2013

Love never fails

So I found myself sitting in my kitchen floor last night staring up at our new refrigerator piece. The first ultrasound photo on our fridge and it's not mine. As I thought about the journey we are starting it brought me to tears, I just sat and asked God, "What am I doing? I cannot do this." And it's true, I cannot! But with Him I can; along with help from friends and family as well as our wonderful church family. WE can do this! No sooner than I could get that prayer from my lips I noticed the magnet I just so happened to quickly grab without thinking, and the tears came again.
Love never fails. And as my wonderful friend Kim says "Love just works"

So you're probably all wondering where this random ultrasound came from and in fact it is not random at all. There is a wonderful and precious little girl that God has placed directly in our paths and we are going to have the privilege of welcoming her into our home for however long the Lord see's fit. She is 12 years old and this is her ultrasound photo that she received yesterday. You can only imagine the pain she has gone through in her short life that would encourage a decision such as this. Andy and I know we do not have the right answers as to why but we do know that she needs the love of Jesus and the love of 2 people as parent figures in her life to guide her.
February 7th will always be a great day to us. It's the day we got to meet "S" and start our journey together. We still do not have every detail worked out as you can imagine but there are a few things that we do know. As of next week we will start the transition process of bringing her into our home. This will include shopping trips with S and I, dinner dates as the three of us together, and then overnight and weekend visits. If all goes well then she will be moved in by the end of this month. Just to give you a small recap of our day yesterday..

We get to the girls home she stays in now and load up to go pick her up from school. As we pull up, Nikki one of her house moms goes inside to check her out. Andy and I are sitting in the van anxiously awaiting a sweet young girl to walk out the front doors. After seeing numerous kids walk out and Andy shouting "Oh I think that's her" and "Look that might be her" Finally out walks Nikki with S, our hearts are pounding and it felt just like the moment I had always pictured in my mind while daydreaming about adoption/fostering. Hearts are pounding and here she comes, "Will she like us?" "What should we say?" "Should we have brought a gift?" "I just hope she likes us!" All of these thoughts running through my mind as S climbs in the car and crosses her arms. We had a doctor appt about 15 minutes away from school and the entire ride there she sat in silence with her arms crossed. Of course more thoughts run through my mind as I wonder what's running through hers. We get to the doctor and shes still very uncomfortable as any 12 year old would be at the "girl doctor" and I get to go back with her for the ultrasound and the doctors consult. More thoughts "What am I doing? After today, I will be the one taking her to every doctors appt. What questions should I ask? I have to be "mom" for her, she's 12 and has no idea what's going on." While waiting for the doctor finally words came from her, and a comment I would've never guessed. "I want a pickled sausage" Okay, just so you all know I have no idea what this is! lol. And I really have no idea where to find one of these but it has become my goal before she gets here to find these things! Of all things in the world, our first bonding moment was about a pickled sausage, whatever that may be. But I thank the Lord for it because it gave us something to laugh about together. As we leave the doctor and head back to the girls home she seems to open up more around the other girls and we all have a few laughs as all the girls beg us to stay for dinner as well as ask Andy to give guitar lessons to everyone as soon as possible! I think we also had an invite to a science fair. Needless to say, these girls are begging for our attention. But I notice sweet S sitting in the corner smiling every time I look over. As we get ready to leave I ask her what her favorite color is and she excitedly answered PINK! I told her I was going to get her room ready and it would be very pink with a pickled sausage waiting for her. She laughed and said okay. As much as I wanted to hug her I tried to give her some space and not be crazy but a feeling of love for her has already taken over inside of me. I love her. Not because I feel sorry for her and her situation but because I feel God himself has planned this entire thing and he has prepared me for this moment for a long time. I love her because He has given her to us. Not to spoil, not to feed, but to love her with the love He gives us and share His love with her as much as humanly possible.
I do not think it's a mistake that I took a semester off even though I had everyone telling me I shouldn't. I prayed about it a lot and felt God was telling me himself that it's the right choice. Now I see what he had planned. And some may disagree with my choice and that's okay, but I know I'm doing what God as called me as a woman to do and there is no greater joy.

What can you do for us? PRAY! We are fostering a child that comes from third world country conditions. She has never had a doll, never had a Christmas tree, and has never been able to be a child. She also is a little behind in school, she has 9 weeks left for this year and most likely once she moves in I will start homeschooling her myself with a teacher coming in twice a week to help along the way. Big changes are coming our way and we really pray that our friends and family support us 100%. I am starting today to get her room ready which will be our guest room (also known as the room where we throw everything) so there is lots of work to do. Just a couple of big things we need as far as the room goes is a headboard for a full sized bed and a shelf for her school books. If anybody knows of one that would be great! As for me, it's time to get everything pink! The Williams' have a girl on the way and we cannot wait!

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